From grieving parent to grieving parent

They’ve all been there before: They know the heartbreak. They know the despair. They know the anger. They know their child will never call out for mom again. They know what it’s like to miss a part of themselves for the rest of their lives.

They’ve all been there before: That’s why they’re here for others now.

Surviving Parents of Southeast Texas, a group channeling the grief of losing a child into a nonprofit mission to help others, took their good will on the road to Uvalde this month to offer support for grieving families struggling in the wake of the elementary school shooting that claimed the lives of 19 students and two teachers. Surviving Parents Co-Founder Demetricia Holloway, whose daughter and unborn grandchild were killed by an act of violence in Beaumont, said the Southeast Texas group brought tangible gifts for the mourners, but the most important gifts transported to Uvalde were hope and understanding.

“The main reason we went was to show love, compassion and support to the Uvalde survivors in their newly and unknown journey of grief they are now on,” Holloway shared. “Our goal is to show them that they can make it and we want to hear their stories, to know their kids and wives through their eyes, to give them the face of hope.”

Holloway was one of 14 Southeast Texas survivors making the trip. As a certified grief coach, crime victims advocate and social worker, Holloway knows the tools to cope with grief – but she also knows even the best coping practices don’t alleviate the pain of losing a child or loved one.

Surviving Parent Shanna Rothkamm knows the pain of losing a child, too. Like Holloway, Rothkamm has worked through the grief by helping others work through the grief too. Heading out to Uvalde with the Southeast Texas ambassadors of support, Rothkamm expressed an overwhelming feeling of grief for the survivors who lost love ones in the school shooting, and empathy “just knowing the familiar journey they are now on.”

“How could this happen to such innocent kids?” Southeast Texas Surviving Parent Rhonda Renfro pondered, making the trip to Uvalde with a heavy heart full of devastation. “This was unreal.”

Surviving siblings are also members of the Southeast Texas support group, many of them also traveling to Uvalde to be a shoulder to lean on for the 21 victims’ surviving families.

Kadijah Winfield and Jalynn Morris have both lost siblings too soon, and traveled to Uvalde to reach out to the surviving children sometimes overlooked during the tragic death of a brother or sister. Winfield, “so sorry for them all,” related to the hurt and loss of hope felt in children during such devastation. Morris, herself no stranger to the “emotional devastation” of surviving siblings and other surviving children caught up in the chaos, felt the need to be there to give comfort to those in need.

“I was in awe of knowing what they must be experiencing,” Holloway said of the Uvalde families that welcomed the Southeast Texas crew with open arms and open hearts. Holloway shared that she felt a need “to be there, to hold them even now that they have no feelings and are numb… to be there for them who felt all over the place, minds running everywhere, to pray for strength in them and know their brokenness even in their silence, and give them assurance that they have the right to grieve.”